I Don’t Wanna Be Sexy

Some days I want to be a rose bush,
To plant my roots so deep beneath the soil I can feel the heat wafting off the center of the earth
Sexy sounds like a scratched cd stuck on the same shitty song and I’m oh so tired of hearing it
I wanna light the world on fire with my sheer brilliance, set ablaze the notions of incompetence that come with insurmountable beauty
Sometimes I want to be a mechanic
Other times I want to be the car
Sometimes I want to be the sky
Other times I feel like a star
Then I want to be like Harriet–wielding a shotgun between my arms, freeing my people under the threat of death
Sometimes I want to be a mother and weave the fabric of my love into a quilt which will warm the world
Others—I want to be the sole inhabitant of this planet
Nothing but the flowers and me
The sun
And me
I am tough
Tireless
Truthful
Tantalizing
And tender
I am every note of the perfect sonata
I am so much more than sexy—so I don’t wanna be sexy
I want to be faster than the wind
I wanna be little boy blue and big bitch pink all at once
I want to be all the pussies the kitty kats twats and cunts
And some days I want to be the blooming poet basking in the sun and drowning herself in words feelings and more words
If today I choose to be strong and tomorrow to cower beneath the warmth of my sheets I shall do so
I want to be so much more than sexy
I am beautiful, pulchritudinous, outrageously comely and strapped with magazine clips and dreams
I want to be so much more than sexy I’ma actually bring sexy back
Back to black
Back to pitch black full lipped and wide hipped
Big bellied loud mouthed and short tempered
Calm, quaint, and kind of like a doe prancing through grasslands
I want to love and be loved for the ideas bouncing around my head
For the full extent of my person for my devotion dedication and dire
I wish to be the sun in all her exploding glory.
 
© Ama Akoto (2016)

Published by Sunshine

Sunny Scape is a safe space for Black women and queer folks. I am committed to eradicating intersecting systems of oppression that overwhelmingly affect people like myself, and doing so in a way that centers the most marginalized of us. That means that I am an activist on behalf of Black and brown queer and trans folks, children, sex workers, disabled folks, people of low socioeconomic status, currently and formerly imprisoned people, and countless others who are pushed to the back burners and relegated to second-class citizenship. This blog and everything within it is absolutely inseparable from the liberation efforts of all the aforementioned groups of people.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: