I Don’t Wanna Be Sexy

Some days I want to be a rose bush,
To plant my roots so deep beneath the soil I can feel the heat wafting off the center of the earth
Sexy sounds like a scratched cd stuck on the same shitty song and I’m oh so tired of hearing it
I wanna light the world on fire with my sheer brilliance, set ablaze the notions of incompetence that come with insurmountable beauty
Sometimes I want to be a mechanic
Other times I want to be the car
Sometimes I want to be the sky
Other times I feel like a star
Then I want to be like Harriet–wielding a shotgun between my arms, freeing my people under the threat of death
Sometimes I want to be a mother and weave the fabric of my love into a quilt which will warm the world
Others—I want to be the sole inhabitant of this planet
Nothing but the flowers and me
The sun
And me
I am tough
Tireless
Truthful
Tantalizing
And tender
I am every note of the perfect sonata
I am so much more than sexy—so I don’t wanna be sexy
I want to be faster than the wind
I wanna be little boy blue and big bitch pink all at once
I want to be all the pussies the kitty kats twats and cunts
And some days I want to be the blooming poet basking in the sun and drowning herself in words feelings and more words
If today I choose to be strong and tomorrow to cower beneath the warmth of my sheets I shall do so
I want to be so much more than sexy
I am beautiful, pulchritudinous, outrageously comely and strapped with magazine clips and dreams
I want to be so much more than sexy I’ma actually bring sexy back
Back to black
Back to pitch black full lipped and wide hipped
Big bellied loud mouthed and short tempered
Calm, quaint, and kind of like a doe prancing through grasslands
I want to love and be loved for the ideas bouncing around my head
For the full extent of my person for my devotion dedication and dire
I wish to be the sun in all her exploding glory.
 
© Ama Akoto (2016)

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10-2-15

There’s love

Then there’s whatever we had
Toxic by nature cus you took my breath when you kissed me
Made my heart ache in ways I’d never felt before
And I can’t really remember how we got to where we got or
Where along the line we fucked up what we got
But there’s warmth where your hand used to rest on my chest
And the skin is still tender where your fingers never left
 
There’s love then there’s whatever tha fuck we had
I can feel your laughter reverberate through my ribs and it hits me like cold wind
But I embrace it
Close my eyes and just to feel it
Im weefin
Im tryna smoke it
Tryna remember what your smile was like and
Before that what my happiness was like
It’s barely a  memory floating through vacant space in the recesses of my mind
And it’s like tryna navigate a spaceship through time
With no direction
Absolutely no destination
Just the faint knowledge that there’s love and
Then there’s whatever we had
 
© Ama Akoto (2015)

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Live

live for laughter
for the love
for the sins we cannot repent
for the people we cannot repay
dance as if it hurts to stand still
let your feet feel the Earth
be blind in your judgment
and all seeing of the possibilities
float free upon whatever makes you smile
slip into lust
with the liner on your eyes
pluck your brows and paint your lips
wear booty shorts and skirts with no slips
adorn your crown with flowers
rip your shirts and shred your jeans
bring brightness to your eyes by all means
kiss slow and kiss hard
bite lips and suck tongues
etch tattoos into skin with the edges of your fingernails
be timid in your loving
or be outrageous
be kind and be courageous
make pretties out of pains
light your cigarette
sing songs when it rains
kiss your boyfriend and kiss his mother
tell her her son is like no other
that your heart aches for him
express gratitude in hugs and never stop painting
never stop drawing
never stop singing dancing or writing
unplug your phone at 69% and laugh for ten minutes
then kiss your reflection
pay no attention to the next election
and aim for less than perfection
be celebratory of all that you do
thank the Sun for your skin
and kiss hers with soft lips
live for laughter
for the love
for the sins we cannot repent
for the people we cannot repay

© Ama Akoto (2014)

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Who I Am

As life takes its toll I have slowed down in many aspects. I have taken to eating what I want when I want and accepting that my body will accommodate my hunger and that my self esteem will accommodate my body. I do not write far as frequently as I would like but I have read fifty or so pages of a new book which I’m hoping to have finished by mid August. Not writing has allowed me to appreciate many a thing in new capacities including the people for whom i harbor great love and appreciation. I am patient with myself. Patient with my surroundings. If not by force of nature, then by simple lack of motivation to actively change things which ought not to be changed. Some things do not deserve panic, or worry. Perhaps not even attention. I realize the importance now of friendships. Ones that will last me a lifetime. Friends with whom I can be honest, friends who call me on my shit and challenge me to be the person I want to be. Most importantly, however, my number one concern has become myself. Convinced now that I am perfect and the rest of the world exists as abnormalities and mishaps, I feel free to move in my own space and time. I am Ama Ampomah with my own story to tell and my own judgements about said story. I do not wish to linger nor do I wish to progress at a pace that does not allow me to appreciate what it is dancing along my horizons now. I am not desperate for the future, though I am excited. I am comfortable with letting things happen. Comfortable with the process.

© Ama Akoto (2014)

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